Question Time

Hello guys !

Well not much has happened really. I'm actually enjoying my half term which is fab and I'm getting work done... this has never happened before. But today I had a lovely day with my girly friends where we dressed up and got into the Halloween spirit ( get it? 'spirit'),

So now I'm sat in bed like normal having a good old think and I've kind of run dry of ideas... not good! This really isn't good so early on into my blogging especially considering you all keep sending me new ideas, but I am officially stuck. So i have 
decided to go through some of my emails and answer some of the questions you were asking me, picked out some of the more interesting ones and had a go at them so I hope this gives you a little more of an idea of who I am, what I like and some little embarrassing facts you may not have known

1. Thing you cant leave the house without?

My phone! My I Phone is my baby and I think I may love it more than most people to be honest. If I leave it at home I literally feel lost without it. This I'm sure is the same for most teenage girls but I can't stress enough how much I depend on it for everything from twitter to navigating me from place to place. Plus, I always have music on so forgetting it is hell when it comes to free periods at college. Also, my makeup bag is always with me as i am addicted to my colourful lipsticks so you never know when you are going to need a top up...as for all I know prince charming could come in and sweep me off my feet at anytime, hopefully not know because I look a state, but I want to look my best when he does...we can still hope.

2. Favorite brand of makeup? 

This one is easy...Rimmel! Now I have loved this brand for a while and their 'Wake me up' foundation is a life saver! Its got such god coverage, smells amazing and matches my skin perfectly. Also, their 'Appocalips lip lacquers' (or 'Show off lip lacquers' if you're in America) are my new best friend. They have such a rich pigmentation and the colour I have which is 'Big Bang' is a stunning bright red, perfect for special occasions or with a little black dress. I can't stress to you how much I love them and would highly recommend them to anyone! So that's why I love Rimmel.

3. Favorite flowers? 

Awww I love flowers! Unfortunately I have never had them brought for me...sad times. But I have to be really cliche and say roses. They remind me of Beauty and the Beast and i loved that film as a kid, plus they just look and smell so pretty and magical. Going to have to go and get some tomorrow now.

4. Favorite clothing store?

As for high street stores, I often find you can't go wrong with New look. I love this shop and if I need clothes it's always the first place I go to when out shopping as I normally find what I'm looking for there at a relatively cheap price. Also, you get student discount there which is always a bonus!

5. Favorite perfume? 

Marc Jacobs Daisy. Need I say more?

6. Heels of flats? 

Now as you all know, I'm a very very tall girly and the minute I put on a pair of heels I tower above almost anyone. However, I love my stupidly high heels. People always say 'Why are you wearing heels?' but they make me feel feminine and normal. So to take the mick I always try and find the tallest heels possible and wear them out because it annoys people. However, I do love my flats for college and just general days where I'm in my jeans, especially my converse.

7. Do you get good grades?

I'm a bit of a boff so yes I do get good grades. I take pride in my work and love school...how sad! But I want to go to uni and do well so I guess I need them.

8. Favorite colors?

Blues and Purples are my favorite but hopefully my room will be black and white soon which will look so cute!

9. Do you drink energy drinks?

I am slightly ashamed of this but yes I do...a lot. I know its really bad for you but I do love my Powerade and Monster... not good I know but I'm trying to cut down.

10. Do you drink juice?

I drink a lot of fruit juice because I love it but its expensive so I often have to stick to squash... boring! Orange juice with all the bits is my favorite but I also like pomegranate. 

11. Do you like swimming?

I used to do swimming lessons when I was younger and always loved it but I haven't been in ages. I want to when it gets a bot warmer because I don't fancy it when its cold but I do love it, especially competitively.

12. Do you eat fries with a fork?

Hahahaha sometimes! Fries or Chips as we call them here are usually quite chunky and if you want to dunk them in ketchup then you need a fork but if they are french fries then i use my fingers..piggy!

13. Whats your favorite moisturizer?

Definitely the Simple moisturizer! Simple is such a good brand and it always leaves me feeling revitalized and my skin looks and feels amazing. Would highly recommend the entire brand o anyone, including the cleanser...brilliant!

14. Do you want to get married later on in life?

Now this is always a much heated debate between me and my friends, one of which I'm on Skype to now...'Hi Joe!' I personally don't see myself ever getting married or even meeting anyone to be honest, being 48 and having 3 dogs immersed in my career. How depressing!

15. Do you get mad easily 

No I wouldn't say I do to be honest. I have a lot of patience and it takes a lot for me to get mad but when I do loose it people definitely know about it.

16. Are you into ghost hunting?

No not really...weird question.

17. Any phobias? 

Not any specific phobias as such but the thought of failing anything scares me. I'm such a perfectionist that the thought of not doing well in something literally gives me nightmares.

18. Do you bite your nails?

Yes I do ! And they are disgustingly short it's vile. I have tried everything but I can't crack the habit. If anyone has any ideas then leave a comment below please!

19. Have you ever had a near death experience?

Not that i know of yet...lets hope I haven't jinxed it!

20. Do you drink coffee?

I do occasionally and I do really like it. I'm definitely a coffee person as I hate tea but Its very rare that I have a coffee rather than a Hot Chocolate or a cold drink.

21. Who are your favorite music artists?

I love music so I'm just going to list a load of different artists that spring to mind but the list is endless and varied:

-Ellie Goulding

-Bastille

-Foo Fighters

-All Time Low

-Blink 182

-Passenger

-Paramore

-Bring Me The Horizon

-Katy Perry

Justin Timberlake

-Beyonce

I think you get the jist of it.

22. Are you single? If so why?

Right, well I am most definitely single. I have only ever had one boyfriend and that lasted two weeks in high school which is embarrassing to say the least. I have never had a long term boyfriend but I have been on many dates. Personally, I would love a relationship, but with someone who truly cared about me and that I could trust with everything. Plus, I have a lot of baggage which will never go away so It's hard to find someone who understands stuff. I am single however by choice as I feel I have too much going on at the moment with school and home to even have time for a relationship and I need to spend time sorting myself out first before I enter anything. I do date and still hope that one day I will meet someone but it's not right for me at the moment. I don't like making myself vulnerable or completely opening up to people so this is another setback.

Phew. That took ages. I want to upload some pictures to go with some of the questions and I will get around to doing that for you all hopefully in the next couple of days which would be nice but until then, I hope you enjoyed learning a little more about me. If anyone has anymore questions, feel free to comment them down bellow or email me them if you want to remain anon and it may give me some inspiration for my next blog but for now, i really want my bed. I love you all !

Keep smilling

Niamh x

Shaken and stirred a lot

Helloooo !

Sorry I haven't blogged for a while !  I've not been having the best couple of days to be perfectly honest so I didn't really feel like sitting down for long enough to type a post that would be somewhat interesting to everyone. All I've done since Friday afternoon is mumble around upset but I had the time today and felt positive enough to blogg for you... yay!

So today's post is about confidence. I did do a post similar to this but after the last few days another issue arose, hence me being miserable (ooo Les Miserables-  'On my ownnn ') and thought it would be useful or maybe a little bit interesting for you who follow me and my weird life. So we were at sixth form at lunch and a close friend in a completely innocent and jokingly way told me my arse looked. They wouldn't ever try to upset me and didn't mean to on this occasion either but it kinda did. So I laughed it off, well I just ran away from the situation to be honest, and had a little cry in the toilets. What is wrong with me? In our toilets we have a full length mirror which really didn't help and I must have been stood there for about 5 minutes sorting my eyes out because I had developed a mascara flowing Niagara falls that was tickling down my cheeks, but also looking at my figure in the mirror.

Last year was a vile year for me. Not only had I got Mum to worry about and an imbecile of a step dad, my head was anything but straight (but still basketball sized). Control was something that I didn't have and without it, coping everyday wasn't an option. I had no control over the upset at home, my grades were slipping and all I wanted was to feel like I could potentially monitor and control one aspect of my life. I didn't feel good enough for anything but I often suffered in silence, not wanting to feel like a burden on my friends because hanging out with the miserable ('At the barricades of freedom!' - ohh dear ) kid wasn't ideal. Then one day I threw up, nice i know and it was almost like a form of release for all the anger, frustration and confusion I had going on. It then became a regular occurrence, twice and if I was lucky three times a day. Looking back on it now makes me feel so ill and I wouldn't wish it on anyone. But like I said, I got over the Bulimia and got back on the mend. I've started to feel better about my figure, now at a healthy size 8/10.

But I'm anything but stable. After this comment was made, it reminded me of the past, how it made me feel at the time and how I saw myself and looking in that full length mirror made me feel exactly the same as I used to. So when I got home, I went upstairs. For the rest of the day I sat in my room crying and refusing to eat. Obviously this is completely unhealthy and not a good idea but in my head, all that I was trying to do was control something. Sitting on my bed, with my head in my duvet, I looked at myself again across the room in the mirror and felt sick. I literally hate myself.

So to try and cut a longer story long, I want to change and will do whatever it takes to try and slim up even more. It's amazing what one comment can do to someones self confidence and I've decided that enough is enough. Its going to take a while again but I know my close friends are reading this and will help me through it. So I'm dieting ! 

Shakes seemed like a good option. Breakfast and lunch, then a healthy meal with meat and veg for dinner. I'm going to give it a go and see how it turns out, blogg how I'm feeling emotionally and physically as well as whats been going on in my day and maybe upload pictures depending on my confidence levels. Exercise is also highly important and as I'm out of dancing at the minute due to tearing my thigh muscle, I'm going to do some core work to tone my tummy and improve its strength. So i will be trying different work out videos and regimes which I will link and comment on here which I'm actually really excited about. Hopefully it will improve my skin as well which is always a bonus ! 5 bottles of water a day is another target I want to work my way up to because I don't drink enough in general let alone of water.

But after all that, thank you so much for all the kind emails you guys are sending me! After only starting this a matter of days ago I have already had such a warm and welcome response which makes me happy and I finally feel like I have a purpose as well as helping people which gives me great pleasure. Knowing my day stories and how I managed to get through my past is helping you makes me strive to continue being strong. Thank you so much as well for all the compliments and your tips because they mean a lot, trust me.

Keep smiling friends - Tomorrow is a better day

Niamh x

P.S sorry for the bad Les Miserables jokes...it just had to be done !

Stronger

Helloooooo !

How are you all ? Amazingly Brilliant I hope :)


(Deborah, Caitlin, Me and Frankie)
So today has been eventful. My little sister, who i don't think I have actually mentioned yet had a dance competition so we were all up this morning at the crack of dawn getting her ready. Glitter was everywhere and as i walked out of the lounge i choked on a cloud of hairspray...the normal. So I was on sandwich duty as I was staying at home all day working. But as I was up and my Sociology essay did not look or sound appealing in the slightest, i texted my friend Deborah in urgent need of a shopping trip.

Me and Debbie have been friends since year 7, but began to get particularly close from yr 10 onwards. She is about 5ft 4 ish and has the most beautiful, long, dark hair I have ever seen in my entire life - can you tell I'm a little bit jealous? Well we went shopping didn't we, but our shopping experience is the same as most teenagers I know.We look at all the pretty things that we can't afford and gossip about anything interesting that's been happening at college. Its all well and good having student discount but I still need the remainder of the money in the first place (and considering I'm too tall to be a Christmas Elf, I don't think it will be happening anytime soon...I'm not bitter at all). Anyway, after running though the rain, hoping not to bump into anyone, I finally got to her in the shopping centre and we went for a wonder. We literally went everywhere! But in the end the only thing I brought were large cotton wool pads.

It wasn't very exciting to be honest but it was nice to just spend some time with my friend and chill. Friends mean a lot to me and over the past two years, I don't know what I would have done without them. I certainly wouldn't be where here today writing all this because things would have turned out a lot more differently.

It was a Thursday evening and I had just got back from dancing so I was tired and ready for my bed. Everything seemed normal and I went to my room. Mum has always been ill ever since I can remember but recently she had been getting worse. My step dad had been taking her to the hospital as they were both concerned at the time as to what was wrong, but they simply kept sending her away, giving her pain killers and telling her to rest. Her condition deteriorated and in the end, mum demanded that she went to have further tests as there was an underline problem that wasn't being identified. I didn't know exactly what tests they had been doing but all I knew was that the results were coming through soon.

So I've been in my room for 24 minutes exactly and I get called downstairs with my sister. Being the reluctant teenager I would have normally asked why, but there was something about the whole atmosphere that night that had felt uneasy and uncertain, so I simply followed instructions and went downstairs. However I had already been fearing the worst about my mum. A girl I sat next to in my class used to ask me about her and we would discuss what new news I had on the situation. It was that Tuesday when we began questioning what it could be. After describing the symptoms lesson after lesson she was only suggesting the more minor possibilities, like Arthritis, but that lesson I said to her that I thought it was Cancer and she told me to stop being so silly and to not think the worst.

'I have been having scans at the hospital. I don't know how to tell you this girls but I promise you before hand everything will be OK'. She didn't even have to say it and I already knew. In fact, she couldn't say it and my arse hole of a step dad at the time blurted it out. 'She's got cancer, Hodgkin's Lymphoma ,stage 4 and is going to have to have chemotherapy so will loose all her hair.' Obviously my sister started crying and cuddled my mum whilst they both sobbed their hearts out. My step dad left the room to get a drink and I went to my room. I didn't cry until I had shut my door, sat on my bed and after about five minutes, single tears trickled down my face. Crying in front of her would have only made things worse. I prayed and went to sleep.

The following morning was a Friday, so a school day. I looked rough and had no motivation to do any makeup and my hair was still curly form the night before, so I left for the bus. Telling my friend Anna at the bus stop was the first challenge and we both ended up in tears. When the rest of the bus asked why, I couldn't answer. Hannah was crying and school didn't know yet so I was taken by some friends to my form teacher who I then broke down on completely, as well as my friends. And then I had to grow up.

As mums condition deteriorated, so did a lot of things. Turns out my step dad was a psycho and he turned abusive, almost instantly when mum showed signs of weakness, towards all of us. So we could have no outside helpers come in as it was deemed too dangerous, leaving mum to fend for herself during the day whilst practically immobile and me and my sister doing the same, looking after her when we got home from school. My grades slipped obviously and I was taken out of many lessons due to my emotional instability, social worker meetings and just simply due to teachers being concerned for me. I hated myself from then on and ended up in a real mess with Bulimia, as it was one of the only things I could have some control over as everything else in my life was falling apart. Family couldn't always come, and that's after my step dad had stopped telling them to leave mum alone because she was too tired and had mental issues. What kind of sick human being does that? But the one thing I could always count on through all this was my friends.

I'm back on track now. I achieved A*-B in all my exams, got a place in sixth form and hoping to go to Uni in 2 years.  None of this would have happened if I hadn't had my friends around me, at the other end of a phone at whatever time. I can safely say I have the best group of friends in the world and my particularly close friends were there for me every step of the way and are still there today, right next to me, a few inches shorter, but with hearts bigger than anyone's. Debbie is one of those friends along with Frankie (who was busy today so couldn't come shopping with us but normally would do) and Caitlin (who had to go to a different 6th form and we miss her very much) and Abi (the girl who doesn't know she's amazing, talented and needs a confidence boost), who are my Best Friends but also an extension of my family. There are many more and they know exactly who they are because they are the ones who are reading this blog now, in its early stages and supporting me all the way. The sad thing is that there is no way on earth that I can repay them for everything they have done, whether it be forcing me to eat something at lunch, or simply asking me if I needed anything. But I should hope they know I am eternally grateful for everything. I don't cry much anymore - maybe because I've ran out of tears but I'm sat here tying this Blog with tears trickling down my cheeks and landing on my lap.

Mums getting better now and we are rid of the prat of a step dad (sort of but that's another story), but there are a lot of problems we are trying to deal with that most people by now would have given up on, but me, mum and Hannah as a unit are stronger than any of the problems that are thrown at us and together we will get through them, with the help from my army of friends, and its days like today where I noticed how far we have come as a family. So you were probably wondering where I ended up getting from dance comps to mums illness but today, my sister Hannah managed to win 2nd place in her category out of 37 top dancers. I was so proud of her and it made me realize how much things have changed in the last few years, but we are still going strong, achieving our goals and supporting each other. Mum is well enough to be taking us to our comps and has a full head of hair (which at comps last year she didn't and was wearing a headscarf). And I was out with my friend Deborah, being a normal teenage girl, skint, looking for a job and having a laugh with my girl.

Like I said...today has been eventful.

Keep Smiling

Niamh

Lanky

Well, Considering you haven't seen me yet, I thought it would be a good idea to add some photos on, so you can put a face to all these blog posts... so here you go!

 Here is me and my friend Caitlin at prom.                    And here's me in my prom dress looking girly.
(Note that I am wearing tiny heels and she is in high heels)

So its that time of the day again... I've not really done much today to be honest.

This morning consisted of me getting up, laying all my homework out on my bed, looking at it and then magically ending up on YouTube...then the Topshop website...and then it was conveniently time for my singing lesson had had to get ready and leave. I really don't know how it happened.

I did however do a bit of a job search. Do you know how stressful this process is with bad broadband? Loading all these different search pages just wasn't working and when they did I couldn't find anything suitable, but in what can only be described as ultimate desperation, I applied to be and Elf. Yes an Elf. Now I didn't think there would be any trouble with me getting this job as all I have to do is dress up, stand somewhere and entertain the children in the line before they go and see Santa. So after spending about an hour filling in an application form online and having a domestic with my Wi-Fi router, I was finally on the last page. The end was in sight and the overwhelming thought of finishing was somewhat relieving. But as you will learn, whenever I tend to get so close to something ( and usually when I tend to use big posh fancy words on here to describe my happiness) something was wrong. Not with my CV. Not even with my application in fact. It was my height.
 

I am officially too tall to be an Elf.

This is actually quite sad. On the last page where it asked me to upload a photo and insert my measurements, it gave me a drop down box to select my height form and the tallest it went to was 5ft 5. My dreams of being a Christmas elf were ruined. Now I can understand why they want small people but come on, really ! Leave it until the last page to tell me I have to be 5ft 5 and under ( and yes I did go back and read everything and no where did it mention any height limit ). Then it got me thinking...

Don't be worried, it wasn't dangerous this time, but it made me think about what it would be like to be small. Words can not describe how much i would like to be small or at least average height. Yes being tall has its advantages and a lot of people love or would love to be as tall as me, but I hate it. I can't find a boyfriend (not that any boys are interested in me anyway) that is taller than me, I have to duck down in the back of the car when my mum is driving because I block the back window and nothing fits me properly. So far, being tall has never had any positive influences on my life and I even get moaned at when I wear heels because I look like an electricity pylon. And now i can't even be an elf and earn a bit of extra cash at my local garden centre because I'm the BFG - my ears are almost as big as his to.

People always say to me 'You're so lucky', 'I wish i was as tall as you' and 'You should be a model' which has now turned into 'But you're a model so you need to be tall' but I completely disagree with them. I feel unfeminine being this tall a lot of the time as clothes are ill fitting,  my feet are huge to balance it out so i have to look in the men's section or buy really big ladies shoes online which can be expensive and just generally a nuisance. I remember last year in class, we were sat watching a short clip of a film in a lesson and the girl behind be shouted at me because I was blocking her view because I was so tall. People have always made jokes about my height as well calling me 'The Big Friendly Giant' and other names to that effect. It gets me down a lot of the time because I just feel big in general compared to my friends who all have quite short, petite frames. Now I'm only a size 8/10, but I look a lot bigger because of my height and this has lead me to a lot of upset and medical problems through compulsive dieting and simply not eating.

I tried everything just to try and stop me growing and maybe make me smaller. My theory was that if I lost so much weight and stopped eating, maybe I would look smaller and shrink a bit. Now this was obviously ridiculous and was never going to get me anywhere but in my mind, all I kept thinking was about how big and gross I was and how small I could potentially be. Normal was all I wanted to be or at least not identified as being the giant, so that when my friends and I go shopping, I could not only find shoes that would fit me in the women's section or pretty clothes that weren't from the more mature 'Tall' section, but I could try on high heels and fitted dresses with them, being a proper girl. I do enjoy a lot of stereo typically male things, like cars, robots and general mechanics, but I am a very girly girl who loves nothing more than doing her makeup and hair, going out and having a girly night. The worst experience of my height definitely has to be at dancing. As i'm tall, I have to be placed at the back a lot, otherwise the person behind me can't be seen and this was fine when i first moved up into the highest class as all my friends and I were on the same level and weren't as good as the more experienced older dancers who were in front of us. However, as I had progressed and got older,  as well as getting to be at the highest levels, I also continued to grow, and as my friends were moved forward to the front rows, I was left at the back with all the newbies who had just moved up and were on the lower grades. This literally knocked all my confidence in continuing in the performing industry as well as a lot of other incidences and made me feel like I was an inconvenience or somewhat a burden on the group. I still often look at patterning work in the mirrors now when we are doing troupe formations and when everyone else is at a similar height, looking like a proper team, I'm the lanky kid stuck on the end at the back, looking out of place and awkward. Its not a nice feeling and I still hate myself in many ways now.

But its something that no matter what I do, I can't change and I have just got to accept my height, as much as I hate it. Maybe one day I will learn to embrace it, but as a girl, I have my insecurities - many in fact - and my size is ultimately one of my biggest hates. Anyone could tell me I was stupid and should enjoy it but the truth is, when it comes to being a bit feminine, or finding someone taller than me to date, or even at dancing, it always holds me back and limits me in some way, rather than giving me advantages and more options. I'm determined to loose weight ( I will blog about this some other time) and maybe then I will be happier, but for all you tall girls out there who feel the same, keep following my blog because I may do a few posts on clothes stores for tall girls and anything else tall related. Maybe you could even comment below how you feel about being tall.

Anyway, like always i'm going to 'keep smiling' and you should to !

Niamh

Winter Warmers

Well its me again. Hope you have all had a good day !

Today has been long to say the least, maybe because it is a Friday but its dragged. I definitely didn't have the Friday feeling this morning, more like the 'If I stay in bed do you reckon the world will just forget about me' feeling but i somehow managed to roll out of bed, make myself look okish for the rest of humanities sake and get to college just as the bell went. I felt **** to say the least but if i can't understand college when i'm there, I have no hope learning at home. But the whole day I all I was thinking was 'I look disgusting'.

Girls always have this problem, the days where you just don't look good...at all. My hair was bad, my makeup wasn't having the desired effect and I felt fat. Not nice at all ! I always try to make an effort for college, wearing little dresses with tights and my shinny black shoes, red lipstick and pretty jewelry, but today was a leggings day. Now all you girls reading this should know that I'm new to the leggings craze, as I used to hate them...with a passion. Everyone who was wearing them used to be able to pull them off, but whenever I put them on all I could see were two black tree trunks. Don't get me started on the patterned ones...just no. Length is always an issue as well as they all seem to finish some where in between my knees and ankles making me look like a giant 4 year old. So when mum came home with three pairs she had managed to find in our local supermarket I was understandably unenthusiastic. However, putting them on, it was almost like an epiphany. Angels began to sing, the sun shone brightly and Kurt Cobain was looking down on me.

Well not really but THEY FIT ! I swear lads if you are reading this you are missing out here because comfy is an understatement. So since then I have been a changed girl...apart from the VPL because I still think that's grim. So they have become my best friend but also my weakness as I no longer can be bothered to make the effort in the morning and paired with an over sized jumper, i feel like I'm being hugged all day. They are now an essential in any girls wardrobe and a fashion'must have' for the winter.

So I'm a big fan of my bargains when I'm shopping and when I'm diving in among the sale racks I'm in my element. But one problem I do always find is that a lot of the stuff I like are in sizes too big for me. Jumpers however are completely different. If you pair and over sized jumper with leggings, you look super cute, cosy and more importantly comfy. Even paired with a statement necklace of a pattern scarf, you can take a dull pair of leggings and a jumper that's too big for you ( but a huge bargain) into an everyday, casual outfit.

A lot of you may already be doing this but here's some of my winter tips for jazzing up your jumpers

1) Pick a range of different colours and be brave. Patterned jumpers can look super cute but bright, bold, block colours can look really fashionable when worn with confidence,

2) The sale rack will be you're best friend when trying to create this look. Not only will you be grabbing a bargain, but it also means that as Christmas approaches, you will have extra spare cash to spend on presents... or in my case food. Even charity shops can be really good for finding something different, cheap and even vintage as well as helping a good cause.

3)Statement necklaces and scarfs can transform the outfit completely, making a casual garment into a fashionable outfit. Big, bulky necklaces look really good with this or even just a cute scarf tossed around your neck can add more interest to the outfit.

4) You can buy studs, sequins and many more alternatives on your local high street and these can really jazz up an old plain jumper, making it into something new and original. No one else will have that exact same jumper and I feel you can put you're own stamp on the look, letting your true style shine through. My favorite are studs as they are in fashion at the minute and are so easy to apply at home.

So I know its nothing new and a lot of people already do this but this is something I personally am new at. So there's my little tips on being comfy and still looking fashionable.

Post any images or you're latest bargain news bellow so I can see what you lot like and how you spice up the look.

Remember... Keep Smiling !

Niamh

Keep smiling

Well Hey !

Eeeeeek ! I'm so excited to start blogging its unreal !

So here I am on my first post and I've been thinking about what to tell you guys and make this page look as interesting as possible and well...it's been hard. So I sat down and thought 'what the hell am I going to do? I'm not used to this !' and so I thought 'well what do I know?'

And then I decided that at the minute... I don't feel like I know anything.

For all of you who have just started college, I'm sure we are all in the same boat but I feel like I'm sat in lessons, trying my hardest and its not going in. Its like I left my brain back at High school and its failed to be returned to me through lost property... I don't think I would want it back if it had been there actually with all the lost trainers and dirty PE tops...EWW!

For my 4 options, I chose Psychology, Media, Product Design and Sociology (which was originally maths but I changed my mind). Now I got good GCSE results and so did all my friends and we were all so proud of them, some of us a bit impressed at how much we had managed to remember in the exams and went for a celebratory meal at the poshest restaurant around... Frankie and Bennies of course. We even had pudding! So unfortunately my one friend was going to another 6th form to me and my other two friends and we had all been really close since year 7, meaning this was one of the last things we would probably do together. Turns out we did meet up again after results day but we don't get to see each other every day which is sad. Anyway back to the point, we knew it was going to be hard and a big step but come on...its like I'm on a different planet.

Sometimes I think I've understood something in class and that little party in my head are singing CEEEEELERBRATE GOOD TIMES COME ON ! but then I get home, sit down to do it and I have the monkey with his cymbals ,marching around. I remember nothing ! A lot of my friends are having the same problem and the whole stress of it is definitely rubbing off on people. Another inspiration for this post is that one of my BESTEST friends in the whole entire world just phoned me and she's the one who started my crazy YouTube obsession. Literally if I had a problem or needed anything, literally anything, this girl would help. We have been extremely close for a while but in different friendship groups, which has its benefits, but we tell each other everything and today I had her ring me in tears, so my initial reaction to her crying down the phone to me was 'Ohh no what's the BF done now?'. But no, it was simply school. Like most of us its got to her and she needed a good cry to let it all out but being hormonal teenagers we do that quite a lot, so when she explained I said to her that I was feeling the same and so were a lot of other people, the first few weeks are going to be hard but we will get there in the end. After she had gone to do some work I continued with mine and yet again my mind began to wonder but not this time to the monkey, but to the future.

I want to do well. Everyone wants to do well and I can tell you now my worst fear is failure, hence why me and my friend get on so well...we are both utter stress heads. We made jokes before results that she was going to be her dream job, a Doctor and I would be an Engineer, making millions and eating in PROPER fancy restaurants...or KFC what ever we want. But at no stage in this dream was their any mention of us being happy, fulfilled or content. It sounds soooo cliché but you can have all the money in the world with your dream job, just how you had planned life out to be from a young age, but if you're not happy then what's the point? So then I thought about our new dream future. And I could sum it up in one word. Unpredictable.

We don't know what's going to happen, who we are going to meet and where we are going to end up but the one thing I'm noticing at the minute is that I'm not as happy as I used to be, whether that be my circumstances or just the people around me feeling stressed to. I hate seeing friends upset more than feeling upset myself and she made me realise today that as long as we try our hardest, which I can assure you we are, we can't do anymore than that. Everything happens for a reason and as long as we are happy then the world is our oyster.

So if you're reading this and you have been feeling a bit stressed or worried, just remember we are all in the same boat, hopefully not the titanic and as long as you have faith in yourself and keep smiling (my little motto) everything will fall into place how it was set out for you, whether its what you always envisaged yourself doing or something completely different, you will always find happiness where you take it.

Keep Smiling :)

Niamh